Eurovision Song Contest Drinking Game

Presenters

There are always two presenters on screen, a Host and a Hostess. Each broadcaster usually provides an additional Commentator to provide voice-over translations, background information and witty sarcasm.

• The Commentator makes a satirical comment that no-one laughs at
• The Host and Hostess try and fail to be funny
• The Host and Hostess sing
• The Host and Hostess speak in rhyme
• The Host and Hostess gaze into each others eyes
• The Host and Hostess kiss: chug
• The Hostess changes her dress
• The Host changes his outfit: slurp
• Presenters having a time-wasting conversation that no-one can follow, understand or care less about

Performances — general points

• Song has a tacky or nonsensical title (shoo-wop etc.)
• Politically-related metaphor (e.g. breaking out of chains, shedding a black cloak to reveal white clothes)
• Lyrics are literally demonstrated in the performance
• Act steals ideas from Eurovision acts from previous years
• Use of props (e.g. candles, ribbons, dummies, mobile phones)
• Use of pyrotechnics or lasers; if they go wrong: chug
• Interaction with the audience; if the audience is unusually passive: slurp
• Any time the song goes up a key
• France conducts a musical experiment
• France sings in English: chug
• A country from Former Yugoslavia has a depressing song
• Germany's song mentions peace, harmony or love (one sip each)
• A country borrows any performer from another country
  • if the borrowed performer is Irish: slurp
  • if the country doing the borrowing is Ireland: chug

Appearance of performers

• Retro/out-of-date clothing and hairstyles
• Bad dress-sense; if utterly offensive: slurp
• Experimental make-up
• Indecently revealing or figure-hugging costumes: slurp
• Overt displays of cleavage
• Codpiece(s): chug
• Faked blond hair (East European countries only)
• Hat(s); if horned: chug
• Sunglasses
• Moustache(s); if female with moustache: chug
• Main singer is grossly overweight
• Malta: male singer does not have a hairy chest: slurp
• Mid-performance costume change

Singers and back-up vocalists

• Sing in a language other than their native tongue, English or French
• Perform through the medium of rap: slurp
• Wink at camera
• Drop to their knees
• Flick their hair; if they flick non-existent hair: chug
• Make a victory/peace ‘V’ sign
• Wave their arms above their heads whilst singing
• Punch the air
• Put excessive emotion into their singing
• Sing out of tune
• Emit high and loud obnoxious noises
• Play or mime along with musicians during instrumentals; if they play badly: slurp
• Resemble someone you know
• Resemble another famous person
  • if that person is present in the audience: slurp
  • if the camera zooms in and lingers on that person: chug
• Flirt with the camera after finishing

Dancers and musicians

• Play an ‘ethnic’ instrument (includes panpipes)
• Play piano while standing
• ‘Ethnic’ dancing
• Hip-hop style dancing: slurp
• Dancing that detracts from the performance
• Dancing that surpasses belief and credibility
• Pretend fighting: if martial arts, chug
• Contortionist: chug
• Dubstep: chug

Television coverage and venue

• Transmission goes a bit wonky
• Preview video is completely pointless
• Preview video is full of gormless smiles
• National symbols are seen somewhere
• Helicopter shots
• Sped up or slowed down film
• Prolonged video mixes
• Colour replacement effects
• Any special effect better than the songs